Fighting

It's over.

All this time I've been fighting to end up right here. It's done. I'm finally here and everything has been smooth as far as landings go. Everyone was always begging me to get out there and do this or that, but when you finally do get 'out there' they are nowhere to be found. They can't keep up or they get caught up in something or another. I decided to just do my own thing. Helping out myself and helping out those around me who deserve it. I do take my responsibilities very seriously. I enjoy it, and I'm energized when I fulfill my duties.

I always wondered why there was this undue tension and stress all the time. It was as if I was playing some character and a role was assigned and I had to fill it. Now that's gone. I can finally be myself without someone feeling like they are standing on my neck. I'm pretty sure I've figured out the reason for all this but that's the past. I let it go. I'm happy to move forward. So happy. I remain the same. The fighting is over. Its all peace and love now for those around me. That's good. There was so much fighting it was getting to be too much. I was wanting to do a grand finale. But.. that would solve nothing.

It's the little things that eat away at us. We expect our family to have nothing but good intentions and everyone around us to be helpful but it just isn't so. We all need to be our own shepherd and guide our own selves. If you are waiting for someone else to regulate your behavior or to tell you no, then you are already lost and should seek immediate help. We have to remain true.